hardwearing | [ MEADOWLARK ] IC Inbox

[ ... right. Not calling him by his AI designation would in fact be a start, since. Well. Epsilon knew what he was. Church had been actively in denial of it. Not that Wash had given him all that long for it to settle. No, Wash didn't help him at all. He was a colossal dick but. Wash knew who the bigger one had been.

He wonders now, if Church had a rifle, he'd be the one getting shot at while the AI screamed "you killed me, asshole" or something even more Church-y.

Maine says be patient, and Wash is already a little confused and considering typing back 'I think you might have to tell him that about me' when he reads the next line. Wait. What? Maine was-- Church?

The next message comes after a long stretch during which Wash is very lucky that this is taking place over text because he would have gotten himself punched by Maine for saying the exact wrong thing. But god help him, the first thing to pop into his head is 'HOW?' and that... well it's still a question he has, but not one he's stupid enough to type. He chooses to ask something more important instead. ]

You make it sound like I'd be upset at him. I'm pretty sure it's the other way around.

[ That pause isn't unexpected. Maine waits it out, trying to ignore the nagging memory of how things went the first time Wash found out about him and Church. Granted, circumstances were much different, but still. It was rough.

When Wash's message comes through, Maine's pretty sure they're delving into territory he knows nothing about. He vaguely remembers something about Church having special reasons to hate Wash — but Maine refused to ask for details. Didn't consider it his business. ]

Don't know history. Know you were dicks to each other. Sometimes friendly. Sometimes not.

[ Wash is so confused. What does Maine mean, he doesn't know the history? Church wasn't screaming it from the rooftops at whoever would listen about how awful Wash was? Why did he merit anything better than Caboose? Had the other version of himself made amends somehow?

...something tells Wash he should talk to Church directly about this. His stomach twists with dread. ]

Weird. I'll have to introduce myself.

Guess you guys will be trying to get your own place, now, instead of taking our spare room?

[ That's something Maine hasn't stopped to consider yet. He's been a little busy alerting his teammates and trying to get Church settled. And while Maine had chosen to take some time to consider Wash and Carolina's offer, continuing to live in the safehouse once Church has his ID doesn't make sense.

They'll need to find another place to stay. The question is: where? ]

Your room. Your call. Would be both of us.

[ It's up to Wash and Carolina to decide whether or not they'd be comfortable with that arrangement. ]

[ ...shit. As much as he wants Maine close and out of the safehouse? It's Alpha. That might be inviting... well. A constant barrage of a lot of things he's uncomfortable with, honestly. Wash hesitates, then dismisses the message for now and heads back out into the living area of the apartment. He'd left Carolina on the couch to go change, then gotten the text before doing so. And he knows she got one too because Carolina is no longer on the couch, she's pacing around in the kitchen. ]

Hey. Can we talk about this?

[ at the first word from wash, carolina stops mid-step, turning on her heel to face him, visibly tense, almost looking for a fight. not that she has any reason to be upset with wash, but she is upset and he's there and there's a few long seconds of silence before she lets out a long exhale and sends off her last response to maine. it doesn't ease the tension in her figure any, but her expression looks... a little less angry. ]

Say what you think you need to.

[ her tone isn't quite there, though. hopefully wash doesn't take it too personally. ]

[ Even if she isn't mad at him and Wash knows it, her clipped tone has him withdrawing slightly because. Well. She may be about to be.

Might as well rip off this bandage. ]

I killed him. Alph--Church. He didn't want to help with any of it, I goaded him into it and he really believed he was a ghost and would be fine. The EMP was my idea, my fault, and he probably hates me for it more than he hates Caboose.

[ There's an unspoken hint of 'and I hate myself' that drifts in. ]

Just thought you should know that.

[ that too-obvious hint of guilt has carolina deflating a little, still upset at alpha's appearance, more upset because she's upset to begin with, but wash doesn't need her to be combative right now. she knows that. this is his side of a story she's heard the sims tell before, something she's never heard.

she's a long way from being comforting, but she manages to pull herself together enough to take a deep breath, letting it out as she folds her arms across her chest- her tone improves, but she needs to stay physically tense a little longer. ]

Given the stories, I don't think Alpha hating you is anything special. You made a tactical decision. It's understandable.

He was a complete asshole, I didn't even feel bad about it until way later. Until after the Blues took me in.

[ There, he said it. He wasn't in a place where he could have warmed to anyone, but certainly didn't warm to Alpha. Part of him straight up doesn't understand how Maine could be dating someone like that Church, but... Epsilon, Wash had warmed to. Even if they'd never really smoothed things out. Maybe there would've been a chance for it to happen with Alpha if Wash had been less broken.

Possibly not. But... ]

...he was a person and their friend and I don't know if any of them really understood what was happening when they drove away. And Maine doesn't know it was my fault. Him finding out is going to go worse than Tucker.

[ it's oddly validating, to hear wash talk so plainly about not liking alpha. she makes a point not to outright dislike people without a reason, largely disregarding outside opinions until she's made her own judgement. between the way the sims talked about alpha and the way epsilon did, however, she's not holding her breath to like the guy. it might not really be alpha's fault - she's far too familiar with his source and the way he was treated to create the fragments - but carolina isn't optimistic. ]

Wash, Tucker practically adored Alpha. [ for reasons unknown. ] I really doubt Maine is going to care half that much.

[ Wash blinks, pulled from dark thoughts of what Maine would think of him back to what Carolina knows -- or doesn't. ]

He didn't ment-- well, it can't hurt to tell you, they're not hiding it. Maine says they're dating. And if he moves in, Church comes with.

[ carolina opens her mouth to respond only to find that she's not actually sure of what she's just heard. it seems... unlikely, regardless of what shared experience maine and alpha must have had on the station they'd been held on. she must have misunderstood. it takes a few seconds to find any words at all, considering. ]

I'm sorry, Maine says what?

[ please tell her she misheard that. ]

He's dating Church.

I didn't ask how, but I kinda still want to. And also really don't, even if Maine punching me wasn't a concern? It's weird but I think the bigger issue is I personally killed him.

[ that's too many times for it to be carolina misunderstanding something and wash doesn't seem like he's jumping to conclusions there, so this is... a thing. the hows and whys are inevitably going to drive her crazy, but that's a problem for later. for now, she raises a hand to rub at her eyes and takes a deep breath. ]

Okay. But you didn't have this problem when Maine showed up and you helped the Reds kill him, too. Is it just because Church might bring it up?

[ Something dark creeps into Wash's expression as part of him shuts down, hard and cold like cell bars. He can practically feel the clang reverberate through his bones. ]

I didn't kill Maine. I defended myself against a thing that was wearing Maine like another suit of armor. Whoever the Meta wound up being, it wasn't Maine. It wasn't our friend, wasn't--

[ He hears the tremor in his voice before he feels it in his limbs. It feels like his eyes are burning, and he blinks angrily to clear them. ]

Seeing hints of him left in there was my mistake.

[ Wash doesn't answer the question -- of course Church would bring it up... except Maine didn't know yet, so maybe he wouldn't? He really needs to talk to Church himself. Yeah. But not right now, obviously.

His jaw works for a moment, as he tries to decide whether or not to turn away. ]

And the AI that got sent to Blood Gulch was the same broken sort of thing the Meta was, once the Director was done with him. With both of them.

[ once sigma had pulled enough strings to ruin them both, but that's the last fragment carolina wants to bring up right now. this moment is bad enough as it is, when she can see wash shutting down but doesn't yet feel like she has her footing well enough to help. ]

They might not have been what Church and Maine were, but I don't think you can blame yourself for one and not the other. That's not fair.

Then I guess I get to blame myself for both.

[ He just sounds tired now. Wrung out. ]

I know they want out of the Safehouse, and it would've taken me months to save up if Angela hadn't helped us with this place. You can decide whether our offer still stands.

I want- [ she cuts herself off on a frustrated sound, forces a slow exhale. her getting heated right now isn't helping, she knows that. she's trying. ]

I think your opinion on that is a little more important than mine right now. Because, look, you can blame yourself or you can accept that they were both unpleasant but necessary decisions you made as a leader. What's done is done.

I wasn't being a leader, I just..... wanted revenge.

[ Don't make it sound better than it is, Carolina. Even if Wash's vengeance and Alpha's death meant Epsilon survived. ]

Either way I have to talk to him and then live with it, so. I'd rather have Maine close than Church farther, if that makes sense?

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> carolina

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> maine

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